May 14, 2012

What I really want for Mother's day

I am the last one in my house to get up in the morning and I like it that way. I wake up to the iPhone alarm trilling, which has been set on snooze twice already, and the sounds of TV in the living room.  Yes, my son is already up and is snuggled in a blanket watching Arthur and his friends dealing with another day in school.  The spouse is straining adrak wali chai and all is well with the world. 

If you are thinking this is what I want for mother’s day it is not because this is how my day starts almost every morning.  Honest! It is perfect and I feel like it is mother’s day every morning.

Yesterday morning was no different. The child gave me a beautiful book he made in school, with the help of his wonderful teacher, Ms. H, in which he wrote that his mother works on a computer,  weighs 30lbs and is a siantist (scientist).
Three years younger too!
The spouse, who has turned vegetarian since my last post, bought me my favorite kababs and biryani on the way back from the temple. Evening was a simple but delicious vegetable sandwich made with crusty bread and layered and stuffed with kale butter, guacamole, cucumbers, onions and tomatoes. I took a long shower and nobody raised an eyebrow or interrupted to ask me where the pepper mill was.  It was a blissful, relaxing day followed by another outstanding episode of Sherlock on PBS Masterpiece.

You may ask then, what more could I want for mother’s day.  And I will tell you what more I want on mother’s day or any other day of the year. The only reason I write this is because I read some posts on mother’s day which were about how grateful and thankful the moms were for their kids and husband horsing around, debating and talking loudly in the kitchen, and how that is enough for them.  Which is all fine and dandy but no mother is happy all the time with what goes on with her kids and her house.  So, just to set the record straight, I will not sugar coat what I want for mother’s day or any other day of the year. My list is not too long and I don’t think what I want is too much.  Raise your hand if you agree.

1.      For once, it would be nice if my kid cleaned up his toys and put them away before going to bed so I don’t have to stumble on them in the dark.  It would be even nicer if I didn’t have to remind him to clean up his toys for the hundredth time before he eventually “cleaned” the mess by shoving it all under the table or stuffing the whole lot in a big box and calling it “chore done”. (He did help me vacuum the carpet yesterday.)

2.      It would be nice not to have to pick up discarded T-shirts, shorts and undershirts from the living room couch, side tables and from the bottom of the bed. I don’t care if the bed is not made up perfectly, with hospital corners and such, but please can we all just pick up our discarded clothes and put them in the laundry basket.

3.      I would NOT like to be surprised on mother’s day or any other day, with flowers because the frugal desi in me balks at the exorbitant rate of flowers and how quickly they wilt and find their way to the compost bin or the trash can.  My kind of surprise would be to wake up to find a clean home, or to come home after spending two months in India to find the yard has been landscaped or the bedroom has been painted. In the interest of full disclosure, I am going to India soon and will be gone for two months.

4.      I am a sucker for meaningful gestures and every time he brings back a piece of cake, an interesting sandwich or salad from his cafeteria because he thinks I might like it, I am a happy woman. So, for mother’s day or any other day of the year, I would like for these simple gestures to continue.

5.      The last thing I want for mother’s day or any other day of the year is to not find empty milk cartons, empty berry containers and empty cereal boxes in the fridge and pantry respectively.

 UPDATE: After the kid went to bed yesterday, I cleaned up the mess of blocks, board game chips and a gazillion cars and trucks and put them away in their proper place.  I know it will all come out tomorrow and he will probably be too tired or too sleepy to clean it up once again.  I will grimace, muster up as much patience as I can and clean the mess once more.  Hopefully, when he is older and able to read this, he will make sure he cleans up his room, at least for mother’s day if not for every other day of the year. And please don’t tell me I will miss the days when the kids leave the toys strewn around, because I won’t.

Also, before you wonder, yes, I am grateful and thankful for the wonderful boy and the amazing man who enrich my life every day by acts of thoughtfulness and kindness.  But I would still want them to do one or all of the above, if not every day of the year, then at least on mother's day.

How was your mother’s day like and what would you really want on mother's day?

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